Winging it(:

Well, it's been a while but I have a few things to say.
First of all I am having a great time lately(:
Everything is starting to fall into place and I love it<3
With my newer, closer, better friends I just feel more steady which is something I've always had problems with. And I guess I always wished I was "that" girl but with everything settled down with John I guess things have been a lot simpler lately. I gotta admit, after not talking to him for months on end I did start to miss him. But something tells me it wasn't even him I was missing all along. I feel like maybe it was having someone to look forward to, or someone to try to impress, someone to admire and chase. I know I sound shallow with that but I am trying to start being a lot more honest and maybe I should start here. I really do miss having something to think about. I really wish there was someone I thought was worth the chase other than John. I have moved on, don't get me wrong but I would still like someone to hold me and tell me I'm beautiful. Someone to hold my hand and make me feel worth it. But it's not something you can just 'get'. It has to come to you. I have been waiting a really long time though and I feel like maybe there isn't much chance left for me. Yeah I'm still young but isn't that supposed to be the best time of my life? Isn't this when I experience 'Young love'? Oh well, I'm sure I'll find someone worth the wait but when?

Oh well(: What can you do? As I said before I have a ton of new friends and I honestly couldn't ask for better! I have things patched up with Shianne and it is so much better. Miranda and Megan are so cool but in all honesty I don't miss Kayla as much as I thought I would. We've sorta stopped talking. She's starting to hang out with some not so great people and we only have one class together and something about her has just been kinda annoying lately. I mean, I still love her to death but I just can't be around her for very long anymore.

Anyway, I know I say this all the time but I really am gonna try to write more often(:

My everything

Tell me I mean something
More than just some girl
That underneath this clam shell
I am actually a beautiful pearl

Tell me you care about me
That you'll never leave me alone
Tell me when there's a problem
I'm the first one you've got on the phone

Tell me you'll smile in the hall
Everytime you pass me by
Tell me I can be your girl
And you can be my guy

Tell me you love my smile
And that you love to make me happy
Even if that means writing me something
That's oh so sweet and sappy

But I want the truth

So tell me you've never loved me
Tell me I'm just some stranger
Tell me it was stupid of me
To put my heart in that much danger

Tell me I shouldn't have taken that chance
Tell me I was dumb
Tell me that it's not your fault
My heart's completely numb

Tell me I don't mean anything
Tell me you don't care
And no matter how much I have to be
It doesn't matter that I'm always there

Tell me I care too much
That I need to find someone new
Tell me that I had no chance
I should've never tried for you

Tell me that chasing perfection
Was too much for me to take
Tell me that I'm just another girl
Another heart for you to break

Wouldn't be the first time
I wasn't good enough
But after everything I'd been through
I thought I was tough

I thought I could take this
Thought I could stand the pain
But the water falling down to Earth
Is way more than rain

It's the tears of my past
Being washed away
God's trying to tell me something
I want to know what he's trying to say

Is he saying it's time for me
No, he's telling me something more
He's trying to tell me
That I don't need this pain anymore

That I deserve better than regrets
I should feel more love than sorrow
I need to stop looking back
And start looking at tomorrow

I wish I never felt it
But maybe it's for the best
I'm just so exhausted
I just need some rest

A break from the sadness
A chance to try again
But not try for you
I won't go somewhere I've already been

You hurt me to my breaking point
I thought that was it
But I know now that I can forgive
But I will never forget

I am very cautious now
I stay away from you
Once you were my everything
But I was nothing to you

I'm sorry if this hurts you
But I had to say it soon
And yes I'll still think of you
Everytime I see that moon

Those days I thought someone loved me
I know now I was wrong
This isn't where I'm supposed to be
But there's somewhere I belong

You meant the world to me
But I don't regret anything
Love was something new to me
But I'm still unsure of the meaning

Someday I will understand
But until we meet again
I want you to know that I gave up
But that doesn't mean you win



                                                                                                                         -Shannon Fox

Bad Knees

Hey everyone. Well I have had a long day today/: I had a softball game at 10 today then I had to watch my sister's game at 12:30, then I had to sit in the car for an hour to go Wapokeneta for a soccer game that we had to watch in the rain. The game lasted 3 hours because of overtime and then got to sit in the car for another hour to go back...At my softball game I completely tore up my knees and it's REALLY bad!! I had to put some alcohol on it and that stung ridiculously but I'm talking to my best friend so it's all good. Anyway this isn't going to be very long but I'm exhausted because it's been a horribly rainy day and I'm insanely tired! Night(:

Summertime!!

Oh my Gosh! I am so excited that it's almost summer already! We only have 14 days of school left not counting today or the day that we go to Silver Lake all day. That's probably my favorite part of the year. Every year the entire school goes to Silver Lake for an entire day. We seperate by grades and we get to swim and play volleyball and listen to music and just hang out with all our friends...It's really awesome and that's the one time of year that the teachers are pretty cool.. The kids that are into science get to hang with our science teacher Mrs. Greene and look for snakes and other kids get to fish and really there's not a single person who wouldn't like the trip. It's just awesome! It's really nice that they reward us for reasonably behaving all year. And I know some people would disagree but I really do think Tecumseh is a good school...We have a good system going I think.(:
Oh yes and on the whole lose thirty pounds thing, I decided that I was going to take the ultimate challenge...P90X! I read some reviews on it and there wasn't a single negative one... But I have a friend who did it for a month and couldn't handle it past that/: So I hope that I have enough will to pull through it...I really think that considering how bad I want and need to lose this weight I think I can pull myself through it.
Today was reasonably good. Started off kind of iffy but it was great by 2nd period.(: I got to hang out with ALL my friends today which doesn't happen very often. I had Paige 2nd period, Kayla and Brodie and Caleb 3rd and 4th, Kayla 5th, Bailey 6th and then EVERYONE 7th!(: It was pretty cool!
I have been trying to bring up my grades lately because I want to go to Ohio State University for a major in Psychology and be a Criminal Profiler for the FBI! Yeah, Big Plans! But I want to bring up my grades. I already have an A-B average but I want to get all A's on my report card this quarter. So I have an A+ in Pre-Algebra, B in Social Studies, C+ in science and a B+ in Language Arts...It's kind of weird because Pre-Alg is my worst subject. Crazy huh?! But anyway, I have been working ridiculously on the other subjects but I'm worried that I don't have enough time...I mean 2 weeks is not a very long time...The reason I have a good grade in Pre-Algebra is because she gives us a test like every other week so theres alot of chances to bring it up..but in Social Studies we only have homework like once a month and we've honestly only had 4 tests this year...And Language Arts is just because I'm in the advanced and I don't understand most of it...And Science..I just don't like it and she only gives us 10 points per test and gives us a test like once every two months!! But I really need to bring up my grades in the next 2 weeks...Joy!/:
I am so excited for tonight...I'm going to my sisters softball game because she's on a Pre-Teen team but I'm in Juniors now but alot of my friends are on her team so I'm gonna hang out there for a few hours and my Best Friend Kayla might be going with me.(: Another good thing is I really want a sunburn! And let me explain why! Sunburns are like my trademark...Whenever people see me with a sunburn they realize "Oh yup it's almost summer!" And to me it just kind of shows that you have a life, you know? It shows you don't just hangout inside all day!
Anyway! I've gotta get ready to go so write later(:

Yay for School

Well I just finished a very lovely softball practice and now I'm about to take a shower then off to bed. Kind of nervous for school tomorrow... Got social studies homework to finish and a big Pre algebra test too. Joy!!/:

Too Long

Well it's been forever since I've posted anything but I just felt like writing today. Anyway, I am ridiculously excited because it's almost summer!(: The swimming, hangouts, tans and especially the sun! You can't get enough sunlight! Throughout the winter we forget what's waiting on the other side of the horrible weather...After winter we get spring and then summer! But there is one bad thing about upcoming summer...I'm not ready!! I'm not ready for bathingsuits and tanktops and short shorts yet!
               I've decided that I need to lose 30 pounds this summer... I'm not sure how though...There's pills, and diet plans, and ridiculous foods that supposedly make you lose like 15 pounds in a week but I don't know if I wanna just take the pills and the diet plans cost money...And my doctor isn't being very helpful..Doc keeps telling me "eat healthy and stay active"..Nah really?? I wish I would've thought of that! When you're like me, eating healthy is a challenge..I'm always on the go and I don't always have time to pick out the better food choice. And it's hard to eat healthy when at my house because let's get real...junk food tastes better. And at my house that's really all we have.
                 The whole active part, I am active...I play sports and I workout when I can (which isn't very often) but even when I was working out all the time and I was making good food choices, nothing was happening...I still wasn't losing weight and I'm not patient enough...
                  Another problem is motivation...I just never feel up to it....Whenever I want to I don't have the time and when I have the time I never feel up to it. Erg! It's irritating..
                   But anyway if anyone has any tips on these problems I'd be glad to hear them....(:

Drama

Well, the party was...um...interesting?? Lots of drama!! Two of my best friends fighting and then my other friend got called a slut...not by shi....but by other people.... Anyway, Kayla was talking to some guy and her boyfriends friends didn't like that and they called him and they got permission to beat up the guy Kayla was talking to.... stupid...one of the cutest couples in our school was arguing....but other than that it was fun and got plenty of pics!!! yay!!! good times but it reminds me that on Wednesday i'll be thirteen! Ew...i feel old!!